Monday, November 06, 2006
What is REALLY going on.
I have blogged some now about our trip and the events that we have encountered. I wanted to write a bit about what is going on in my heart.
I am more conflicted now than I have ever been. I get these glimpses of the beauty and need of this country and I desire to stay and work and love and give. And then there are the times that I just feel alone, and out of place, and sort of like a baby sister that gets taken around because the parents say it must be so.
My pride is swollen and injured here where I can't do really anything for myself and am at the mercy of everyone else. I know exactly what the problem is. I am self centered and self indulgent and prideful. I don't want to need others. Boy, am I the picture of the holy missionary or what?
Now to the good news.
I know that the Lord brought our little family here for His purpose. I expected this to be difficult, but I have been surprised in that I wasn't expecting it to be difficult in the areas that it has been.
Spiritually I find myself struggling to stay dependent. Is that happening in your life in the states? (I almost said your life at home, but that isn't home anymore...this is)
We are here for the long hall, and I am excited about that as well as aprehensive, and I know that I have barely scratched the surface. Praise God for the Coreanos that they are here to be our friends and our helpers and His provision for us. Their difficulty has made it possible for us to avoid them. Please pray God's blessings on them as they have served us here in the past 6 months by paving the way.