What do DO???

As some of you know, I pretty much feel a steady pull or drive to do something about all the hurting, suffering, lost situations around me.  I just want to move to remote parts of the earth and teach un-reached people about our Savior.  I want to open a home for abandoned or malnourished babies, or maybe a transition home for girls who are leaving the orphanage.  i want to walk the streets and take hot meals and the Lord's love to all the people begging on the streets.  I want to open up a training facility for moms where they can learn skills and the Word of God and get encouragement and fellowship 

But, I can't right now.  I can't do those things.  So my question for the Lord is always, "Why are you giving me these ideas and desires and this longing when I can't do anything!  Where are you leading me?  What DO you want me to DO?"

In searching the Scriptures yesterday, I believe he has shown me what I  need to do.

Let's look at Psalm 37:3-7
"Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of you heart.
Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and He will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.
Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him"

There it is,clear as day.  What I'm supposed to do.  I am to
1. Trust in the Lord and do good.
2. Delight in the Lord
3. Commit my way to Him
4. Be still and wait patiently for Him

Wow.  So that is what I'm gonna do.  That should keep me busy for a while.  ;)

Better Me Monday...or Tuesday!

It is time for my February goal update!  (Just in case there is anyone who cares!  haha!) I recently had some time to evaluate my life a little bit.  I realized, not for the first time, how incredibly task oriented I am.  I am really driven by my to-do list.  The huge problem with this is that I tend to make my to-do list an idol.  I really don't like that about myself.  The Lord is really working on me in this area and in doing so is freeing me from my people pleasing, workaholic, performance driven tendencies.   This is painful for me, but God is so good and faithful in my life.  I am so thankful for the opportunity to repent and be healed!  Praise Him!  Anyway, so during this little retreat, I made a to-be list instead of my typical to-do list.  And then I evaluated my goals for this year in light of that to-be list.  Here is what has come out of that:

My To-Be list: (in no particular order)
1. I desire to be an excellent manager of our home
2. I desire to be a woman totally dependent on the Father as evidenced by having the mind of Christ
3. I desire to be an attentive, patient, and wise mommy
4. I desire to be HUMBLE
5. I desire to be an available servant of the Most High and a minister of the whole gospel as He leads.  

Now, it seems that I have things on my goals list that may or may not have anything to do with accomplishing those "to-be's"  and so I think they need to be revised.  

Personal Goals: 
1. Write 3 blogs a week.  This is an ambitious one.  I want to write a personal blog, a ministry blog, and an adoption blog every week.  Well, This was definitely too ambitious and as it turns out really doesn't accomplish anything on my to-be list.  Not saying that writing blogs isn't a good thing, or even a great thing, but when it comes to my list of priorities, I only have time for so  much.  At least for now, I'm gonna try to pursue the best thing. So, I will write blogs as things happen that make me want to blog.  I'm still gonna try to keep up some discipline in this regard, but this goal is gone. 
2. Learn French.  At least some French.  We are going to be doing it as part of home school and it will be good for BabyJ who will be joining our family this summer (we think). Check - this one we're doing.  Not as quickly as I would have liked, but I know some greetings, about the weather, and the names of some foods.  :)   I'm keeping this on as I really believe that it helps to accomplish goal number 3 for our newest son, BabyJ.  
3. Read 2 non-fiction books a month.  Later I will be listing those books.  So excited about this one. So far I've read 2 this year and am working on number 3.  I'm gonna change this goal to a goal of reading certain books that will help me with my to-be list.  Such as a couple of adoption books, christian non-fiction, etc.  But I'm letting go of the number.  That number actually looms over my head and discourages me.  
4. Consistently get enough sleep. Sleep in when I can, go to bed early when I can, take naps when I can.  I am a better wife and mommy if I have slept.  I need to be a good steward of my body.  I'm still trying really hard at this one.  This is a non-negotiable.  I am doing much better at this than I have ever done before.  

Ministry Goals:
1. Set a curriculum for teaching sewing to the girls at the orphanage and get the two older kids involved there somehow. This one is done!  Yeah!  I found a couple of books in Spanish that I'm gonna use.  I don't have to do much planning, now.  This serves to-be number 5.  I am going to continue to seek His wisdom as to the best way to play this out.  
 2. Home school the kids with consistency,  attention, and pre-planned activities for LittleK to do. Less spontaneity in our schedule so I'm not frantic to get done by the end of the year. So far so good!  I'm sticking to this much better this year and it helps that the curriculum is better for both BoyD and me, and although I'm not changing this goal, I do want to clarify it.  I will do school, but I'm gonna lighten up about getting it all done every day.  Having a brilliant son who doesn't want to work has caused more problems for me...actually, the problems are caused by my sinful nature, lack of patience, lack of wisdom on how to handle it.  So I'm working on me in this regard.  Better said, I'm stepping aside and asking the Lord to work on me a little bit. (To-be number 4)
3. Get out b-day and anniversary cards each month.  Whew.  We're just totally taking this one off.  I've failed at it already and I realize that this doesn't directly relate to my to-be list at this time.  This his hard for me to let go of!  I have perfect person syndrome!  I want to be the perfect mom, the perfect wife, the perfect friend.  And I'm NOT, so I fail and feel like a failure.  That is my pride, friends, rearing it's ugly head.  YUCK!  So, I'm gonna submit my imperfections to the Lord and thank Him for revealing them to me, and thanking Him for His grace that covers them, and I'm gonna walk in FREEDOM from perfection...as the Lord perfects me! 

Family Goals:
1. Take each kid on a date 1 time each month.  We don't have to spend $, we have to spend time.  This is a very good goal that I've failed at.  Brandon and I are changing this one up a bit...we are trying really hard to spend 10 minutes alone with each kid 2X/day.  That is 1 hour a day with dedicated kid time.  This is going really well.  
2.  Be a flirtier wife.  :)  Amen...going pretty well.  I'm gonna keep this one intact!

Homemaking Goals:
1. Create and maintain a mending basket. A place where I keep all things to be repaired, and a time each week that I set aside for mending. Ok...I did get all the things to mend separated and on a visible shelf.  So, I'm on target with this goal.  I'm gonna keep it for the sake of to-be #1.
2. Have some homemade gifts on hand for surprise hostess/birthday/thank you gifts.  This goal needs to be quantified a little bit.   I loved this goal, but I'm striking it for now. It is a good thing, but not the best thing.  Doesn't fit with my to-be list.  

Social Goals: Both of these I'm keeping...they go to to-be numbers 1-5.  Speaking of this, I need to call the girls and get them together!  We even had our first Spanish couple's study and it was fun.  
1. Meet once a month with my Gringa girl's Bible study for prayer and encouragement.  
2. Have a Spanish couples Bible study weekly or bimonthly.

I'm Not a Very Good Homeschooler

Geez its hard to admit that.  Really hard.  I mean, I want to be good at it.  I dream of being good at it.  I have hopes that someday I will be good at it.

I don't know what to do with LittleK when I am trying to teach the other two.  I don't know how to keep GirlM quiet while I'm doing math with BoyD.  I don't know how to help BoyD get his work done with all the distractions.  I don't know how to manage BoyD when he needs an explanation but I'm in the middle of a book with the little ones.

It is a little chaotic around here during the school day and I spend as much time disciplining as I do teaching! (Probably an exaggeration, but it feels that way!)  I don't have oodles of patience and I'm not a laid back sort of mom.  I also realize that my precious angel children are not always precious angels.  :)

The reason for this blog post?  Is it to discourage anyone from homeschooling?  On the contrary.  It is to say that I wouldn't give this up for any peace or order or structure in the world!  And to say that if I can do it, ANYONE can!  If this impatient, anal, perfectionist-but-never-getting-close-to-perfection mama can do it, you can, too.

And to tell you that it is worth it.  To get to spend this time teaching, watching, interacting with, learning about, and discipling my children, is the greatest thing I will ever do. I will not miss their achievements or their failures.  What a gift!  Plus, I think the Bible says something about taking complete joy when you face trials of many kinds, because the testing produces endurance, and when this perseverance (endurance) finishes its work, I will lack nothing.  Not even patience and order.  :)  Bring it on!

Toy Storage! Help!

I hate toys.  I mean, toys are cool, but I hate them.  Specifically, I hate small toys or toys with small parts.  I am a relatively organized person and I like everything to have its own special place.  I like barbies to go together and little people farm stuff to go together, and stuffed toys to go together.  We have a lot of little bins all over the place where the toys go.  There are certain toys, though, that no matter how hard I try, no matter how routine we are, no matter how good my kids are at picking toys up, the end up ALL over my house!  In the washing machine, in the dog food bowl, in the kitchen sink, under my bed, in my closet, ALL OVER  MY HOUSE!  I really, really hate that.  The worst are all the parts and pieces to these little toys called Play Mobile.  I have stepped on more little tiny guns or belts or cannon balls than any human being should have to endure.  Oh, Little Green Army Men are also forming battle lines in every conceivable space.  I literally feel under attack!  For some reason, it is only boy toys that do this.  Legos, action figures, tiny pistols.

 

I need some suggestions.  I need some help.  I need a SOLUTION!  The only reasons we haven't thrown all these toys out is because they cost money and they are his favorite and because Brandon likes them! Haha!

We have the rule that one toy gets put up before another toy gets pulled out, and for the most part, they abide by that rule (I am ever vigilant!)  The problem is while they are playing. Their imaginations take them all over the house and that means that their toys go that way, too.

Is it reasonable to forbid the lego bridge in the garden, or the German front line out of the playroom?  Not sure.

Someone please help me with this loathing I have for toys.  Maybe we should just strip down to the basics: balls, books, a doll for the girl, and a truck for each boy.  Haha!  Clean up would be SO much easier!

Adoption: before the foundations of the earth...

I am a gentile.  I am not Jewish.  I am adopted into the family of God through the work of Jesus Christ.  Did God settle when he adopted me?  Did he adopt me simply because His natural children rejected Him?  Was my adoption plan B for the Creator of the universe?  And then, is my identity less of God's child than a Jew?  Like, I'm not His "real" daughter...just an adopted one.

Or...did He know of me before He created the foundations of the earth?  Did He have a plan  to bring me into peace with Him from before the beginning?  The answer, of course, is YES!  My adoption into God's family was part of how God made His family!  I am co-heirs with Christ!  I am a TRUE, REAL, BONA FIDE daughter of the King!

When we tell people that we are adopting our 4th child, sometimes people ask if D,M and K are our real children...or "can you not have kids?" I don't mind those questions.  People are curious, and that is normal.  It is actually a really good time for me to explain our reason's for adopting BabyJ.

It is interesting, though.  And the truth of the matter is that adoption is part of God's plan for humanity.  He has been adopting almost from the beginning! His own Son was adopted! :) And He chose BabyJ to be part of our family before he was even knit together in his birth mother's womb.  We aren't God's second choice for BabyJ just as BabyJ isn't our back up plan.  He isn't anything but our "real" child.  It is cool to think of that!

And, for those of you that don't have much experience with adoption, let me give you a small piece of advice.  Don't ask people if their child is their "real" child.  That implies something that you may not mean to imply.  Instead ask if they are their biological children.  This isn't political correctness, it is about being factual and precise with your language.  And if you want to know why they chose adoption, just simply ask that: "Why did you choose adoption?"  You might want to avoid assuming things.  We all do that too often, anyway!  :)

So, if you are a Gentile Christian, relish in the fact that you were adopted into His family, and that you are His REAL child!  And maybe consider how God might be calling you to testify to that adoption!

All the anticipation of a new baby!

So we are done birthing children.  Have I mentioned that before?  I mean, as far as we can tell, we are done.  I don't want to birth any more children.  This is one of the mountain of reasons why we chose adoption.  I have done the pregnancy thing several times now, and it was wonderful and magical and all that jazz, but my wedding was wonderful, too and I'm not gonna do that again either.

One of the more difficult parts as well as one of the more fun parts of pregnancy is the anticipation.  Once you find out you're pregnant the first thing you do is calculate your due date.  Then you start anticipating your first sonogram...will you see the heartbeat?  How many are there? etc.  Then, if you of the more modern type and want to find out the sex, you have to wait a WHOLE 19 weeks or so to find out if you are having a boy or a girl.  You just desperately want to buy some pink or blue, but you feel like you must wait until you know!  Then after that, the only thing to wait for is the babe to come.  I mean, you may have to wait on your furniture to arrive or your custom bedding to be made or you have to wait for the baby shower and stuff, but there seems to be a long time just waiting for the baby to come.

It is pretty remarkable how similar this part of adoption is to that part of pregnancy. I mean, we started this process and I just wanted to get some basic info...what country, how much, how long, etc.  Then we did all the paperwork and we were waiting on a referral...what are we going to get? Who would our child be? boy or girl? special needs? how old?

Then the call came..."its a boy!"  Oh, that was very exciting.  Then we spent hours looking stuff up online and just staring at his picture.  It was such a joy to get to share his photo with friends and family! (we wish we could share his photo here, but for his own security, we aren't allowed to yet.)

Now we are waiting again.  During these long months there are days that all we can think of if LittleJ.  We are planning trips and wondering if he'll be with us or not.  We rearranged the boys' room and planned where we would store his clothes.  Then there are days when we just don't think about it that much.  The children that we have demand our attention, or we have to travel, or whatever. Just like those days when I was pregnant.  I would have days where I hardly noticed the little one doing somersaults in my gut, and other days that I had trouble doing anything else.

So, even though I'm not pregnant, I feel all the anticipation of a new baby.  I pray for LittleJ daily, and lately the anticipation has been high.  And boy, is it exciting!

What My Kids Need From Me

As my kiddos age and change, and as I prepare to bring another kiddo into our home, I have been feeling like I haven't been for my kids all that they need me to be.  In those quiet moments alone I have felt a little disappointed in myself for my lack of patience, for my raised voice, for my critical word.

It has caused me to think through what it is that my kids need from me.  What kind of mother should I be to minister to them; to their spirit, their character, their personalities.  I wanted to briefly share what it is that my kids need and then ask you to do the same.  Even if you don't want to post here a response, I would ask that you consider the question.

First let me say that BoyD is 7, GirlM is 5, LittleK is (almost) 3, and BabyJ is 7 months and in the Congo.

BoyD needs me to be free to listen.  Needs me to not be focused on work, or getting through schoolwork, or making dinner.  He needs me to hear his stories and his ideas and then help him realize them.  He needs to not hear criticism, and he needs the freedom to be wrong. He also needs a lot of hugs.

GirlM needs me to play with her on the floor.  She needs me to put on a crown and a pretty dress and be the "queen" so that she can be a real princess.  She needs me to teach her to make a sandwich and to teach her how to put doll clothes on her tiny baby.  She also needs to know how important she is in this family and to me.  Oh, and hugs.

LittleK needs supervision!  haha!  And he needs constructive direction.  He needs me to read books to him and to play sing-song games with him.  He also needs lots of hugs. Oh, and he needs consistent discipline. He needs me to never be to busy to redirect, correct, or punish.

BabyJ needs me to pray for him.  He needs things that only others can provide.  He needs me to be in serious intercession for him.  And he probably needs hugs that I can't give him yet.  No worries...I'll make up for it when I get him.

So...can you share what your kids need?  It is a fun and convicting exercise. 

Adoption Update: The Arrest Record

Hey folks.  We get questions periodically regarding the adoption process, and some things have happened and I thought I should update.  Just a brief history in case you don't have a clue what is going on.

We are in the process of adopting BabyJ from the Democratic Republic of the Congo.  If you want to know more about that process or where we are in it, please check out Help the Scotts Adopt, our adoption website.  Brandon has kept that up to date and you can get all kinds of info there.

So, we get a letter sent to my mom's house from the USCIS (the government body responsible for granting a visa to our adopted child and approving us to adopt internationally) that says that they can't complete our request until they receive some paper work.  What they need is an arrest record.

You see, Brandon was arrested when he was in high school.  He was 17 and we out in the middle of the night with some friends.  They decided it would be a good idea to steal a flag that was hanging outside of a model home.  Well, they did it, and there just happened to be a police officer sitting in the dark watching the whole thing.  He also had some fireworks (illegal) in his trunk as well as some sort of illegal weapon.  So, he went to jail.  He spent the night in jail and his parents had to come and get him out.  No charges were filled, but he still has an arrest record.  We had told this story to our social worker and the story went in our home study.  We were advised by many that leaving something like that out is a sure way to get denied.  The problem was that we didn't include the arrest record in the home study.  Why the social worker didn't request it is unknown, but now everything with the USCIS is on hold until we can provide it.  We also have to provide a written statement about the circumstances of the incident, any rehabilitation that took place, etc.

My job today is to call the Flower Mound police and our home study social worker to get all this worked out.  You can pray about this for us!

Apart from this, we are waiting for a Congolese judge to make a judgement on whether or not we can adopt BabyJ.  Pray for that, too, please.  Our whole family is ready to get this little man home to us!  :)

Better Me Monday

A New Year!!  Yeah!  I love new beginnings.  I love mornings because I feel like I have a fresh new day in front of me.  I love Mondays (I know not really the first day of the week) because I feel like I get to start again checking items off my to-do lists.  I love flipping the calendar over to a fresh new month and filling everything in.  And I LOVE starting a new year!  Feeling like the past doesn't hold me, that I can do things better, different, do it how I want it done!

In the spirit of newness, I am beginning a new series called Better Me Mondays (or BMMs).  Mostly this will be a time when I write out my monthly goals, challenges, etc. God is growing me (Praise Him) and I want to document here a little of what He is doing.

So for my first BMM, I want to write out my goals for this new year.  I don't like the term "resolutions."  I guess it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth.  I prefer goals.  So...today I will write my yearly goals and each month I want to post my monthly goals as a sort of report on how I'm accomplishing these yearly goals.

Let me also say the following: I had been aching to take the time with the Lord to go through and think and pray through what I wanted 2013 to be like.  I had my first REAL alone time with Him a couple of days ago and as I sat and wrote out all of the things that I wanted to do/be, I was feeling both very satisfied with myself and a little overwhelmed!  Then I opened my devotionals for the day and God put it all in perspective for me.

In John 13, we see Peter telling Jesus "I will lay down my life for you!"  Quite the resolution, wouldn't you say? Jesus then informs him that he will deny him 3 times before the rooster crows.  That had to have been disappointing to hear.  I wonder if Peter believed Him.  This was before Peter was given the Holy Spirit (that came at Pentecost)  and all of his effort to keep that goal would be in his own power.

Then I read in My Utmost For His Highest:  "All our promises and resolutions end in denial because we have no power (in ourselves) to accomplish them....There is now only One who directs the course of your life, the Lord Jesus Christ."

Then in Jesus Calling  the author writes "True dependence is not simply asking (Him) to bless what (I've) decided to do.  It is coming to (Him) with an open mind and heart, inviting (Him) to plant His desires within (Me)."

So...I was super convicted!  All of these plans belong to the Lord and are for His glory.  If nothing else happens, if none of my plans succeed, my #1 goal for 2013 is to RELY ON JESUS.  More on that another day.

Let's dig in (these are in no particular order):
Personal Goals: 
1. Write 3 blogs a week.  This is an ambitious one.  I want to write a personal blog, a ministry blog, and an adoption blog every week.
2. Learn French.  At least some French.  We are going to be doing it as part of home school and it will be good for BabyJ who will be joining our family this summer (we think).
3. Read 2 non-fiction books a month.  Later I will be listing those books.  So excited about this one.
4. Consistently get enough sleep. Sleep in when I can, go to bed early when I can, take naps when I can.  I am a better wife and mommy if I have slept.  I need to be a good steward of my body.

Ministry Goals:
1. Set a curriculum for teaching sewing to the girls at the orphanage and get the two older kids involved there somehow.
 2. Home school the kids with consistency,  attention, and pre-planned activities for LittleK to do. Less spontaneity in our schedule so I'm not frantic to get done by the end of the year.
3. Get out b-day and anniversary cards each month.  Whew.

Family Goals:
1. Take each kid on a date 1 time each month.  We don't have to spend $, we have to spend time.
2.  Be a flirtier wife.  :)

Homemaking Goals:
1. Create and maintain a mending basket. A place where I keep all things to be repaired, and a time each week that I set aside for mending.
2. Have some homemade gifts on hand for surprise hostess/birthday/thank you gifts.  This goal needs to be quantified a little bit.

Social Goals:
1. Meet once a month with my Gringa girl's Bible study for prayer and encouragement.
2. Have a Spanish couples Bible study weekly or bimonthly.

Ok.  That about sums it up.  Keep me accountable, folks!  I'll let you all know how it goes.