So we are done birthing children. Have I mentioned that before? I mean, as far as we can tell, we are done. I don't want to birth any more children. This is one of the mountain of reasons why we chose adoption. I have done the pregnancy thing several times now, and it was wonderful and magical and all that jazz, but my wedding was wonderful, too and I'm not gonna do that again either.
One of the more difficult parts as well as one of the more fun parts of pregnancy is the anticipation. Once you find out you're pregnant the first thing you do is calculate your due date. Then you start anticipating your first sonogram...will you see the heartbeat? How many are there? etc. Then, if you of the more modern type and want to find out the sex, you have to wait a WHOLE 19 weeks or so to find out if you are having a boy or a girl. You just desperately want to buy some pink or blue, but you feel like you must wait until you know! Then after that, the only thing to wait for is the babe to come. I mean, you may have to wait on your furniture to arrive or your custom bedding to be made or you have to wait for the baby shower and stuff, but there seems to be a long time just waiting for the baby to come.
It is pretty remarkable how similar this part of adoption is to that part of pregnancy. I mean, we started this process and I just wanted to get some basic info...what country, how much, how long, etc. Then we did all the paperwork and we were waiting on a referral...what are we going to get? Who would our child be? boy or girl? special needs? how old?
Then the call came..."its a boy!" Oh, that was very exciting. Then we spent hours looking stuff up online and just staring at his picture. It was such a joy to get to share his photo with friends and family! (we wish we could share his photo here, but for his own security, we aren't allowed to yet.)
Now we are waiting again. During these long months there are days that all we can think of if LittleJ. We are planning trips and wondering if he'll be with us or not. We rearranged the boys' room and planned where we would store his clothes. Then there are days when we just don't think about it that much. The children that we have demand our attention, or we have to travel, or whatever. Just like those days when I was pregnant. I would have days where I hardly noticed the little one doing somersaults in my gut, and other days that I had trouble doing anything else.
So, even though I'm not pregnant, I feel all the anticipation of a new baby. I pray for LittleJ daily, and lately the anticipation has been high. And boy, is it exciting!