Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Being a Wife

Man...I LOVE being married to my husband. I really can't imagine my life with out his love and presence. Because of events at my church in the past few weeks, the institute of marriage has been on my mental conveyer belt. I have been evaluating what kind of a wife I am, and how to be a better one. To mutilate a quote by Dave S. who quoted someone else I want to "be the kind of woman a good man would love." (BTW, if you know how that quote really goes then please let me know)

I am learning more and more that submitting to Brandon is synonymous with submitting to the Lord. The question for me to answer I really believe that God placed Brandon as authority in my life. If so, then why wouldn't I submit with joy and enthusiasm. Brandon has been historically easy to submit to, so up until recently this has been a purely theoretical discussion. Now that we are getting ready to go to Guatemala there are some procedural things that I want to get done. Here is the issue at hand: Brandon is a ruminator. He can be very proactive, but he is not impulsive or rash. I am often both of those things, so when I think something needs to be done, I want to just DO IT! If I go ahead and "just do" all the things that I feel need to get done, then I am robbing from Brandon the opportunity to lead our family through the process. Instead of being the helpmate, I am the driving force. I don't want to go to Guatemala that way. I want to be a helpmate.

Ok, as I struggle with what that looks like, I would love to know what you think. If any of you have any wisdom, please share it with me. Praise God for his faithfulness in giving me what I desperately need in a husband. Praise Him for teaching me how to submit to God's authority while I learn to submit to Brandon's.


Schweers' Mom said...

After 18 years of being a helpmate, I still struggle with what that looks like! With Craig traveling so much for so many years, I've had to be "in charge" and the driving force. It's hard to be co-pilot when he comes home sometimes. I want to run ahead and click off those things on the to-do list. But what I've realized is that when I let Craig do it, it still gets done - maybe not the way I would have done it, but the end result is far more peace and harmony in our home! For me it tends to be submitting to God so that I have the power to submit to Craig.

Great blog! I'm so glad you are writing. I will be praying for you, Brandon and Deacon!


Joye said...

I guess your marriage personality is similar to ours. Mike is a ruminator, too. I'm the impulsive one. Early in our marriage I saw that it would be easy to demand my own way and get it. Thirty-two years into it, I find that one thing I've learned is just not to talk so much about a thing. To think and pray, then let Mike know what I think. Sometimes the outcome is great, sometimes not. Sometimes I'm still learning to keep my mouth shut. It always works out when we consider each other more important than ourselves.

Brandon and Jenny said...

Oh, my goodness! Thank you both so much for your much needed wisdom. I am both encouraged and saddened that I will still be struggling with this after many years of marraige. Even today I am having to practice this, and boy it causes me to be dependent on the Lord. I ask Him to make me dependent as painlessly as possible, and of all the things, this is pretty painless! Love you guys!

From Carlys Eyes said...

I struggle with this day to day. I have to make a decided effort all the time to make sure and get all the tasks run by and checked by nathan. That doesnt make it easy though. 27 years on my own made me quite the independant person and it is been a hard change to let him take some of those responsibilities.

Free and Living said...

oh man, i really hate that word submit - yet i think it's an issue of trust. if i trust god to lead my life, then my heart is more open to trust steve to lead our lives. when i'm in a mode...i'm usually not trusting and end up getting all emotional/passionate about the tasks at hand...end up being consumed by them...and end up making a bigger mess. i'm learning to trust and it seems like proverbs 3:5-6 will never be irrelevant...that's what i love about god's word. it speaks straight to the condition of my heart. amen. thanks for your honesty, jenny!

Brandon and Jenny said...

You guys are so cool! Man i am so glad that I am not alone in this struggle. Part of the curse I guess.

A Mutating Missionary said...

OK, I know that I am blogging on this late, but Jen - I want to throw my 2 cents in on this topic!
I'm single - I have no physical husband! But, guess what. I still have to stop, take a breath, wait a bit, get still and quiet, look for MY Husband's guiding hand. I'm a doer. I'm a ponderer to a certain extent. But the pondering, has actually come because I found out if I rushed in without much prayer and meditation I blew it - in more ways than one. So, I guess what I am trying to say to you... Whether you are married or not, this is a matter of the heart. God seems to encourage us to be more like an outpouring stream than a volcano destroying the surroundings :-)
So thankful that you are on your way! I will pray - the battle has just begun :-)Hold on tight to HIS hand.