Wednesday, January 03, 2007

A real rant

I will say upfront that I am sorry if this offends anyone.

I have a couple of pet peeves that I wanted to rant about.

The first is home births vs. hospital births. With Deacon, I had natural (meaning no medical intervention including drugs) childbirth in a hospital. It was wonderful. I had a blessed experience and would not have changed anything.
That was perfect for me. My issue is when other people have an issue with how people birth their babies. When I was pregnant, I experienced basically two kinds of women. Those who would say "you aren't going to get an epidural are you? You know that can hurt your baby!" and those who said "Natural child birth? What? Well I said that too with my first baby...ha...just wait! Would you go to the dentist and say 'don't want the anesthetic doc...i want this tooth pulled naturally'..." Now, those are the extremes and there were plenty of women who just kept their opinions to themselves, but when the opinion was given, it was like that person knew exactly what was best for me and Deacon.

What happened to grace? What happened to letting people be? Is not the important thing that babies are healthy and secondly that the parents have a good birth experience? I had several women tell me how awful hospitals were and how they would force things on me and how dangerous hospitals really are...Bologna! At least not at every hospital with every doctor. I was not forced into anything, and every one was wonderful and respected my wishes! I also had women tell me horror stories of friends who lost or almost lost their babies because they weren't in a hospital. Fine!

What ever happened to allowing a mom and dad to pray and ask the Lord for guidance and make choices that are right for their family with the applause from others for what ever decision they make. HOME OR HOSPITAL BIRTH IS NOT A MORAL OR BIBLICAL ISSUE...LET PEOPLE BE! augh. This has been building up for a while...and for the record, we will probably have our next baby at home.

The other issue is the home school/private /public school issue. Basically, it is the same as above. For some families and children, home school is the best option! It does not make them socially inept or "weirdos" unless they were already! It helps some children excel in ways that they would or could not otherwise! Think of the child prodigy at the violin, who gets to practice as much as they desire because math class only takes 1/2 hour because the teacher isn't having to pause to make sure every student understands. Or the person with learning disabilities who feels more stupid every day they are at school because they can't learn the way the other students do.

For other families, public or private school is better! There are single moms and other financial circumstances where it is just not possible for a mom to stay at home and school their children when public school is readily available. There are also children who thrive in a more public environment. I would have gone stir crazy in my house with my mom all day, and I can't imagine my life with out the high school choir that taught me so much about team work and discipline and friendship. If every Christian kid was home schooled, who would be the light in the classrooms!

All that to say...what do you care how Mr. and Mrs. Soandso decide to educate their children? Is not the important thing that they get an education to begin with? Let people trust God to lead them to what is best for their family, and let's all let the Holy Spirit be the Holt Spirit and stop trying to take over His job! By the way... we will most likely be homeschooling Deacon for a while at least.

Ok, bravo if you made it all the way through this. :) I needed to get that off my chest.

God Bless!
P.S. For all of you who have given me your opinions over the years concerning various things...please continue to give them. I will! And I know that beliefs of what is "best" stem from love and respect. My issue is more with criticism than with advice. Thin line I guess.


Philip said...

Wow. Feel better?

Schweers' Mom said...

Way to go, girlfriend. I agree wholeheartedly. =-) Thumbs up!

Brandon and Jenny said...

He-He..I do feel better! It was fun to be on a soap box for a bit. I hope that I made it clear that I am inviting opinions here and in person. Even if I disagree...that is how I learn and grow! Love and peace out!

From Carlys Eyes said...

I so agree with the birth thing. So many people told me how I was making a bad decision or directly implied I was making a horrible decision for Jess birth. By the time I had her I was so tired of all the opinions. I wish I was as bold as you.


From Carlys Eyes said...

hey look!!! i posted from my account....I think we should all do the chicken dance...not an opinion but but a demand...yep a demand...ready, 1...2...3 hurray!

Schweers' Mom said...

I was thinking about this some more and I think the reason everyone is so adamant about what they did is that we all want to justify our actions and feel like we made the best decision. What we should do is realize that WE made the BEST decision for US and it isn't necessarily best for someone else! I think that's where the grace comes in.

The OBGYN who delivered my first son was the mother of 5. I had read about all the options and asked her opinion. She was so honest and helpful. She said she had had pretty much everything given 4 births (2 were twins) and the goal is to have a healthy baby. If you needed drugs - fine. If you didn't - fine. It was completely up to you, but to stay focused on the end result. I'm glad I did and remained open to my options - even if I didn't need to use something.

Choices are good. It just looks like as women we would support each other and allow each other the freedom to decide what's BEST for US.

(Ok, I'll step off my soap box now!)

Joye said...

Mark Twain said, "I am not one of those who in expressing opinions confine themselves to facts." I think that's the case for most of us. We base our opinions more on personal experience and emotion.

We'll always have unsolicited advice from people who "mean well." For the ones who rub you the wrong way, well, like Mike always says, "be a duck." Let their opinions roll right off of you like water off a duck's back.

Brandon and Jenny said...

It is funny...I get on my high horse about non-biblical issues becoming must do's for people, yet I am sure that I have and still do the same thing! He-He...I really want to only be willing to fight over issues that the scriptures are clear on. Otherwise I want to be so gracious. What a challenge for me...because I must know the scripture so well to know if the Bible is clear on something or not!