To the Praise of His Glory

Ok...our stuff that we shipped from the US got here yesterday morning! I am just more than excited. The strange thing is, I was pretty settled with the simpleness of our lives. (very few decorations, crappy pots and pans, only a pack'n'play for Deacon, only a laptop) Now, we have so much stuff...documents, and CDs and boxes and boxes of books, and, and, and. I guess I just have this sense of uneasiness. Probably in part b/c we have so much to unpack and really not a lot of places to put stuff. It sort of sounds like I'm complaining. The other missionary couple here (the Coreanos) had their shipment lost - can you imagine, personal things that can't be replaced- and so I am soooo grateful to have all of these things to make this place more like "home". I just can't shake this feeling. Just sort of this tension...I guess it's just more "American" here now than it was before.

I read this thing on Joye Messerli's blog the other day about the difference between a humble and a proud person. I have to confess that I was shocked! I was amazed at how I had slowly slipped into a pattern of prideful behaviors! Prideful thinking! Of course no one says..."today I will begin a struggle with pride" but the enemy is so deft at gradual erosion. I guess it is one of those laws of physics...that everything, if left alone, eventually goes to disorder and death. Really that sums up my problem. I had left that area of my life alone. I wasn't vigilant to serve and pray for others and be humble. I mean, I have been reading my Bible, but even that was sort of about "me". Thanks Joye for that...the Lord used you to convict my spirit and in His mercy to repent. That being said...

In Ephesians it says that when we believed in Christ, we "were marked in Him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance" (1:13-14)

The question on my heart is: How is my LIFE marked? What evidence is there of this in my life? Maybe you think about that question a lot, but it's been a while for me. Physical tangible evidence that I have the seal of the Holy Spirit. Is it in how I love my family, serve my husband when I want him to serve me, invest in my baby when I want to put him in front of a cartoon so I can get something done? Is it in looking for ways (creative or otherwise) to lift up and encourage my fellow missionaries? Is it in serving the women that I hire to help in my house? Maybe it is in trusting God to allow my son to be a part of the culture when my "instincts" say it's not safe. I will be thinking about this question for a bit.

This question for me can be pretty self-deprecating until I finish reading that passage in Ephesians where it says that we are God's possession "to the praise of His glory" Again, even this is not about me. Praise God!

the Bus and the Puppy. (not realated)

Oh my gosh I don't even know where to start! It has been so long since I have actually sat down to type. I want to give everyone an update on what is going on here. I am still in language school each day for 4 hours (plus 1 hour in the bus - read on for a quick story about that!) We also have official jobs now. Mine is bookkeeper and I am "in charge" of the guest house. The reality is that my real responsibility is learning Spanish, but I know the direction that I will be going as my Spanish improves.

Oh, about the bus...I ride these minivans (micro-bus here) to school everyday. they hold 12 comfortably with everyone in a seat and the assistant standing, yelling out the window the destination to drum up business. Now this morning I got on the bus, and it had 17 people on it and I had to stand up. There are approximately 10 stops after mine before we get to my school, and I think we added people at every one of them! At one point, there was 25 people on that bus. That means I was standing as far back as possible with my rear end pressing against some ladies thigh (while some gentleman held my hot steaming coffee to keep it from scalding everyone at every lurch of the bus) and 5 more people standing, pressing against me. I really think one lady or maybe two were trying to sit in my lap, as I was bearing all of their weight with my little fingers frantically trying to grip the inside frame of the van, while white knuckled and perspiring. If you didn't know, I get very car sick.

Quite an adventure! Wanna come visit? :)

Ok...Now I will post photos of the precious puppy. Her name is Bella, and I think she is almost housebroken! Yeah! She has a tattoo of a number on the inside of her ear...something to do with registering her...does anyone know anything about that? Ok...be back soon.

Where's Jenny?

Hey everyone! I don't know if anyone reads this blog anymore...I haven't been on in a long time. I am getting ready to catch up on everyone's blogs. Not having internet has been really difficult! It is kind of odd how much we depend on internet in a third-world/developing country.
Well, I am fighting a monster sore throat, and missing my friends. All of the college girls, Jenny, Ruth, Constance....the entire playgroup. Ladies at CBC. Holly...man.
I am about to go to sleep b/c I get up every morning at 5:45 am to start the day. I just wanted to say "hi!" and I will be posting photos and videos of Deacon and our new puppy, Bella, soon. Let me know if you stop by.

Still here in Guatemala

I'm sorry that I have not been able to blog.

We were supposed to have internet at our house 6 weeks ago - welcome to Guatemala. I'll start blogging again when we get it - hopefully this week.

I have sop much I want to share with you all! I love you and miss keeping in touch with you all. Oh! My foot is better! almost....

We Miss Her

We found out Friday that Joan Floyd passed away.

I know if you knew her, you are missing her. If you knew her, you know how kind she was. How much of a servant she was to the women all around her. You know how she would laugh at all(or most) of her husband's silly jokes. You know that she loved her daughter and was so proud of the woman that she turned out to be. You know how strong and humble and selfless she was even when she was very, very sick. You know how the Lord used her and impacted a world of women that will have an eternal impact. You must also know already how the world is missing a piece of it's goodness now, a piece of it's faith, a piece of it's strength.

If you didn't know her, I am sorry for you. You missed out on an amazing work of God, and you should look forward to meeting her in Heaven.

To Paul and Stephanie - I wish that I knew how to heal your pain. You are grieving and we grieve with you. Your wife/mom made this world better. We love you in Guatemala.

INSIGNIFICANT FUTURE DETAILS

We are here in Guatemala City and have just purchased our new living room furniture at a Sears. A little surreal. Oh my goodness...Starting a house from scratch is such a fun challenge. I have my mom and my friends with some decorating know how (I am inept at it) looking out for some wooden furniture that we could have made here in Xela. So....if you see anything....let me know!

I want to let you in on my heart for a minute. Have you had a time in your life that was necessary and transitional? That is where we are. We are going to move in 2 months (we don't have much to pack) and we have to clean the new house and buy supplies, have furniture made, etc. At the same time, we are both in school for 5 hours a day meaning that one of us is gone for over 10 hours every day. We at this point don't really have much time to study the Spanish that we are learning in school, so language school is going slower than it otherwise would. I guess I am just feeling the culture stress thing. I don't want to be doing what I'm doing right now in terms of school. I just keep reminding myself that this is just a season. I just want it to go faster than it is going.

Right when we get started again on Spanish, we have to make a trip into the city for 4 days to get the topper put on the truck. We can't drive back to Xela on our own yet, so instead of leaving on Friday afternoon or even Saturday morning, we have to wait to follow another missionary back. This is for safety reasons. And when we are here, we have to stay at the Marriott (I am only half complaining about this one) because there is secure parking for the vehicles. It is like 3 times more expensive than staying at a hostel/bed and breakfast type room. I am enjoying the filtered water at the hotel though...I can brush my teeth with the water from the tap, and Deacon can't get a parasite from his bath! I am having a little pitty party here, and that is not my intention.

I know that the Lord is in front of us. I know that he is not surprised by our surprise trip to the city. I know that there are things that I must learn in His timing that I don't even know I need to know. In reality, it is hard to trust God when I am focused on me.

Please pray that for me: that I can turn my mind to things of God, and not get overwhelmed with the insignificant future details that God has already seen and dealt with. He is trustworthy. He is faithful.

Back Home?

Well, We are back in Guatemala. But we are in a town called Comitancillo (Comi) while we live in Xela! We were in our apartment for 5 nights before heading out to Comi to work for a week. We are having a good time though, and we are speaking Spanish a lot which is very good.

It has been so long since I last blogged because I hardly have any extra time with all of the travel. It's good to be back.

We have fantastic news! We have a house to rent! It is strange because we could never have a house like this in the states. We are sending a fantastic thank you to all of you who have prayed for us and supported us. God's provision is so complete! I want to tell you all about our house, and as you read it, please do a couple of things.


1: Please Thank God for it. Praise Him for it.

2: Please pray that God would help us to store up treasures only in Heaven, and that we would not become attached to the "things" that we have.







Ok. Our house is right next door to the Coreanos (the other missionary couple here with us with a 14 month old girl). This in itself is such an answer to prayer. It has a 2 car garage, which will fit our truck even with the topper on it. It is 3 stories with no yard. On the top floor is a divided balcony.










The first floor has the garage, a 1/2 bath, two living areas (later a homeschool room) and a large kitchen. The second floor has 3 bedrooms and 2 baths with built in closets in 2 of the rooms and the hallway. The third floor is the roof top patio with another bedroom and bathroom (designed for live in help). We will be putting movies of the house on youtube very soon and will post the links on my next blog.
















Anyway, this is more house than we know what to do with for $50 less per month than we are paying now for a 3 room guest house apartment with rat droppings! We are only going to pay the equivalent of $333.00 and there really is not another house that is this new and clean (even much, much smaller ones) for less. Praise God!

All that to say, we have plenty of room for you to come and visit! We start traditional language school next week, so we will each be in school for 5 hours a day as well as trying to look for and purchase some appliances and furniture for the new house. We are going to try and move into the house by the beginning of April. :)

Getting Better!

Well, I am home from the hospital after my surgery. I feel pretty much ok, so thank you all so much for your prayers! The really crummy thing is not being able to nurse Deacon for the day because of the anesthesia. At first, they were telling me that I couldn't nurse at all for 24 hours after the surgery...weaning Deacon in one 30 hour period is not ideal! I did some research and talked to the anesthesiologist once I was educated on the topic and I got the OK to pump and discard twice and then I could nurse. It was quite a battle with the doctors though! They just didn't want to take the time to do the research! It was just easier for them to say "no nursing!"

There is another thing that you could pray for. I am starting my 3rd day of only clear liquids and it is getting a little old. I won't complain because saints throughout history have fasted and prayed for various things. Now, I am in a forced fast, so I might as well make it spiritual! I want to use this time to pray and get refocused on the love and Christ and my purpose of serving Him.

A real rant

I will say upfront that I am sorry if this offends anyone.

I have a couple of pet peeves that I wanted to rant about.

The first is home births vs. hospital births. With Deacon, I had natural (meaning no medical intervention including drugs) childbirth in a hospital. It was wonderful. I had a blessed experience and would not have changed anything.
That was perfect for me. My issue is when other people have an issue with how people birth their babies. When I was pregnant, I experienced basically two kinds of women. Those who would say "you aren't going to get an epidural are you? You know that can hurt your baby!" and those who said "Natural child birth? What? Well I said that too with my first baby...ha...just wait! Would you go to the dentist and say 'don't want the anesthetic doc...i want this tooth pulled naturally'..." Now, those are the extremes and there were plenty of women who just kept their opinions to themselves, but when the opinion was given, it was like that person knew exactly what was best for me and Deacon.

What happened to grace? What happened to letting people be? Is not the important thing that babies are healthy and secondly that the parents have a good birth experience? I had several women tell me how awful hospitals were and how they would force things on me and how dangerous hospitals really are...Bologna! At least not at every hospital with every doctor. I was not forced into anything, and every one was wonderful and respected my wishes! I also had women tell me horror stories of friends who lost or almost lost their babies because they weren't in a hospital. Fine!

What ever happened to allowing a mom and dad to pray and ask the Lord for guidance and make choices that are right for their family with the applause from others for what ever decision they make. HOME OR HOSPITAL BIRTH IS NOT A MORAL OR BIBLICAL ISSUE...LET PEOPLE BE! augh. This has been building up for a while...and for the record, we will probably have our next baby at home.

The other issue is the home school/private /public school issue. Basically, it is the same as above. For some families and children, home school is the best option! It does not make them socially inept or "weirdos" unless they were already! It helps some children excel in ways that they would or could not otherwise! Think of the child prodigy at the violin, who gets to practice as much as they desire because math class only takes 1/2 hour because the teacher isn't having to pause to make sure every student understands. Or the person with learning disabilities who feels more stupid every day they are at school because they can't learn the way the other students do.

For other families, public or private school is better! There are single moms and other financial circumstances where it is just not possible for a mom to stay at home and school their children when public school is readily available. There are also children who thrive in a more public environment. I would have gone stir crazy in my house with my mom all day, and I can't imagine my life with out the high school choir that taught me so much about team work and discipline and friendship. If every Christian kid was home schooled, who would be the light in the classrooms!

All that to say...what do you care how Mr. and Mrs. Soandso decide to educate their children? Is not the important thing that they get an education to begin with? Let people trust God to lead them to what is best for their family, and let's all let the Holy Spirit be the Holt Spirit and stop trying to take over His job! By the way... we will most likely be homeschooling Deacon for a while at least.

Ok, bravo if you made it all the way through this. :) I needed to get that off my chest.

God Bless!
P.S. For all of you who have given me your opinions over the years concerning various things...please continue to give them. I will! And I know that beliefs of what is "best" stem from love and respect. My issue is more with criticism than with advice. Thin line I guess.

Plans Change

(Deacon and Pa-Pa in Lubbock)

Plans change. Well, we are staying in the states longer than we anticipated. I am having a minor outpatient surgery on Friday and so will stay in Lubbock for an extra week. Don't worry, everything is just fine, it is just a little thing that needs to get done...so we're doing it.

Any way, I still have mixed feelings. The longer that we are here, the more that I get "used" to American things that make life a little more comfortable. I don't want to get used to it. But, I am not going to complain about an extra week with my parents and other family. This will also give us some time to visit a few people while we are here.

Please pray for me. Please pray that I can be diligent to use this extra week to study spanish. Please pray that my little "procedure" goes well. Please pray that God will keep Guatemala "home" in our minds so that we can continue our transition there so that we don't start all over when we do return. 7 weeks in Guatemala...almost 4 in the states. WE NEED TO GET BACK. It will be a while before we come back again.

Stateside

I am not sure how it feels to be here in the good old US of A. I mean I am glad to be here for the holidays, and I am SO enjoying my family and the very cold weather. I like the food and the ease of living (like microwave noodle dishes) as well as flushing my toilet paper.

I miss Spanish. I miss my friends there. I miss the mountains and the walks to the bread store and well...I miss Guatemala.

Really, I don't want to take any steps back in terms of our adjustment to the language and the culture. Everyone said that we would, and I really don't want to.

So, for the moment, I will enjoy where I am. I will enjoy my family and the fellowship and the Holiday season.
And then, I will enjoy going home after the holidays.

Please tell me where you are, and tell me why you enjoy it! I look forward to hearing about it!

Merry Chrismass!

holding down the fort!

This post was written yesterday: Saturday

Ok, so we don't actually have a fort. It's more like a hideout, but I'm holding it down as best as I can.

Brandon and the Coreanos left yesterday morning to go to Comi to do some work with some sister churches and to have some meetings. Honestly, at first I didn't want to go because if I did, then either Marissa or Deacon would have to go with out a car seat (not room). I struggled and struggled with whether or not I should go. I asked the Lord for clear direction, I sought wise council...but still I struggled with the decision.

Well, the day before they had to leave, I woke up with this incredible sense of clarity! There was no way I could go, because we are leaving for the US on Monday, and that would only leave me Thursday (Brandon and I are both in school that day) and Sunday to get ready to leave the country. There just wasn't time for me to go. (Brandon ended up skipping school that afternoon and we went on a date - need to write about that soon - it was fantastic!)

Anyway, I am still no clearer about the car seat thing. A wise old man (wink) told me that car seats are a false sense of security. Do I trust in the car seat, or in my God to take care of His children? I struggle with this point...why isn't the car seat God's provision for safety, and it is foolish to not use one unless absolutely necessary? This wasn't a necessary trip. Anyway....I would love your thoughts on that. I am not sure if I am just lacking faith in this area or not.

That was really a side bar. I am here alone in the guest house (last night there was not another person here) and the power goes out. I had just put Deacon to bed and I was standing in the bathroom (PITCH BLACK) when I remembered my brilliant husband had put a candle and matches in there just in case. Yeah! I was saved. The power came on and off many times, and finally stayed off for a couple of hours until I went to bed.

Then, Deacon woke me up at 7 with throw up all over his sheets, his blankets, his stuffed toy, his hair and his pajamas. Le-sigh.

The only other person here was still asleep, and Deacon needed his sheet washed (I only have one) and a bath. Then...the power goes out again.

We're all O.K. now, and God provided the help I needed with Eloisa (the woman who owns the guest house)

Deacon is feeling better since the Advil took the fever away, the sheets are washed, Deacon got a bath, and Brandon is coming home tonight! Yeah! I even got a tad bit of laundry done! (and obviously time to blog)

These days keep me dependent. I would take them any time. For the moment, I am holding down the fort, thanking God that I have a husband who is alive and well and a part of our lives and who will be home soon.

P.S. For all of the single mom's out there, my heart goes out to you, I pray for you, and I am proud of you.

"Evangelicals scare the _____ out of me"

Ok, talk about grace...

Why is it that I, being a redeemed child of the light, with the Living God dwelling in me, sin so often. And yet, I can be so critical of the unregenerate person living in darkness who sins?

All it takes is some time around judged people who are scared of you when you say you are a Christian to get you out of your "splinter in other person's eye" state of mind.

I was chatting with a girl at the language school who in all honesty didn't really look much like a girl (I had already made some judgments about her based on that). I was trying to get to know her because I am the "good missionary." She seemed closed off and timid around me. She had already heard that I was a missionary.

Then she asks why I am here, to which I tell her that I work with evangelical churches in the US and here in Guatemala, to which she says "so, tell me about your religion".

WHAT? HAS ANY PAGAN EVER ASKED YOU THAT QUESTION?? What a great question. That gave me an opportunity to tell her the entire gospel...not the legalistic get your life "good" to be acceptable to God crap of her past, but the true gospel of freedom and life and blessing in the fold of God.

She told me that evangelicals scared the F*** out of her (sorry for the language, that is what she said) because they are the ones who abuse her and protest her very existence. That is when her lesbian friend joined her and chimed in with a hearty agreement. My heart broke.

Their problem is NOT their attraction to other females. It isn't any promiscuity that they exhibit or the blatent sexual undertones to their daily lives.

Their problem is that they don't know Jesus the Savior and Redeemer. They don't know the freedom that they can have from themselves in a life of submission to Christ. Geez!

Well, I told them truth. The Spirit of God spoke to their hearts (and I don't say that lightly) and they opened up to me. They lost the fear of me when they knew that I wasn't there to bring condemnation, but good news.

They did not repent of their unbelief or their homosexuality, but they now know at least one evangelical Christian that is not protesting them, but loving them.

Grace at it's core is letting people be. Not being the world's personal Holy Spirit and letting God do the convicting and us the loving.

reading

I am inept at HTML so I can't figure out how to put the Thanksgiving picture in the correct place.

Ok, there are two new blogs to read, so make sure to look at both. This first video is of my precious baby reading. Books are his toy of choice right now, and sometimes if he is playing by himself we will "catch" him with a book open, pointing to the pictures and blah-dah-ing. It is sooo cute!

I also wanted to tell you guys about our Thanksgiving here. It was really fun and really strange. It did make me feel a real sense of longing for my family and friends in the states. Like, we had to explain what cranberry sauce is for because they don't eat it!

It was fun though because we got to explain to a bunch of Guatemalans the reasons we celebrate Thanksgiving, and got to basically share the gospel with people over turkey and black beans.
It just really makes one appreciate things.

Ok, I shared the gospel of Jesus with two lesbians the other day and with one 45 year old bachelor non practicing catholic (in English). All in one day! I will write all about that (hopefully) tomorrow or the next day. That was very cool.

The Market

The second video is of the second largest market in Central America in a town called San Fransisco. That may have been the strangest thing I have ever seen. So many things made me so sad, like the this particular part of the market. They were selling live animals, and this may sound strange, but the animals just looked sad. Even my teacher who was with me said so.

Anyway, it was cool, and I rode a "chicken bus" which is basically a school bus with a BUNCH of people, some chickens (listen carefully in the video and you can hear them), and a pig on the roof.

The best part was that I didn't get car sick because God is good and spared me. It is the only explanation.

Mission Work

This is Deacon and Marissa at the Guest House where we live. My mom said she wants an adult version. The kids love it! You can see that it is pretty cold here.

We have not officially started Sister Church work with our mission agency because we are in language training, but boy do we feel like missionaries. Most of the teachers at our language school are Catholics and may or may not be believers. There is a dutch girl who lives in the guest house as well, and she is a self proclaimed "non religious person". There are lost people all around us.

Brandon had the brilliant idea of reading the Bible with his Spanish teacher in order to practice Bible vocabulary words and such. They are going to read for 10 min. every day. I am going to steal his idea.

I feel like I never have before the burden to evangelize and serve in the name of Christ.

I find myself looking for ways to make life better and easier for the people I know here so that they will know more about the character of the True and Living God.

Why did it take me coming here to get that. What a shame that so much time was wasted in the states where I had neighbors who spoke the same language.

Please let that be an exhortation to you. Don't waste the time that you have in the spheres of influence that you are in.

This is not our home...it is easier to be a missionary on the mission field, but the reality is that we are all missionaries.

We love you.

Happy Thanksgiving

It is strange to be in a place where they don't celebrate Thanksgiving. We sort of forgot that it was coming because there was no paper turkey's in the windows, no plastic pilgrim centerpieces or bags of colorful gourds in the store. (they have all kinds of gourds and melons in the market but not packaged for fall decorative purposes)

But, boy I am thankful. Really, really thankful.

I mean we are here in Guatemala in maybe the most beautiful country in the world and we have been provided with everything that we could need and most of what we could want. Like today, I had Deacon by myself while Brandon was in school. I was in my sock feet and was holding Deacon as I walked from one room to the other on tile floors. I slipped and fell pretty hard, but the way I was holding Deacon, he was perfectly OK. I mean, he fussed because it scared him, but it could have been a disaster, but the Lord was with me, and kept Deacon from harm. Will God always keep him from harm? Most likely no, but today He did, and I am thankful.

We are actually going to have a full fledged international Thanksgiving Dinner with the inhabitants and guests of the guest house where we live. I am cooking the turkey (for the first time in my life, so I will let you know how it turns out) and the dressing (if we can find the ingredients at the market here) and I am so excited. We will have dutch food as well as the obvious Guatemalan food.

It is a little surreal, but we can't wait. I know this is probably tradition in all of your homes, but since we are not with the rest of our family I would like to do it here...let us know what you are thankful for. I want to hear how God has provided for you!

Land of Contrast

Ok...it's been a while but I'm still here. Things are actually great! Language school is so fantastic. It is 5 hours of one on one language study and there is absolutely no English! I mean, I guess I can look up words in a dictionary that has English in it, but no speaking English. I am amazed at how little and how much I know. I am picking up the vocabulary pretty well, but I still can only talk in present tense with regular verbs. None of that future subjunctive cr*p, whatever that is.

Anyway I want to talk a bit about this amazing country. It is certainly a land of contrast! (see picture) Like...you can get free high-speed internet at the McDonald's, but you can't find pasturized milk!

The water is basically poison, but you can buy bleach at the Hiper (Wal-mart) a few miles away.

You can't flush the scented toilet paper, but at least it smells pretty (the TP that is.)

A bag of chips is like 7 cents, but pepto costs a fortune!

at 9 a.m. you need a sweatshirt and hat, at 1 p.m. you are sweating in a t-shirt, and at 4 pm you need your winter hat again.

You can get prescription drugs at the pharmacy with out a prescription but you can't buy baking soda or corn meal at the grocery store. (no sage that I can find, either...and I need it for Thanksgiving dinner!)

We bathe deacon in bottled water so that he won't die from parasites (possibly an overstatement, but maybe not)

He-He... All that to say, every day is an adventure. We like it here. We are making it our home. Deacon is making friends "Que LINDO!" (literally "it's nice" but it loses something in the translation because it means..."he is so cute!")

Noticing

We went for a walk today around Comi. This is a Mayan town. The signs around town read in both Spanish and Mam. (TXAQ TE K'OK' SBI'L: "spices" in Mam)

It was only a 20 minute walk, but it was so cool to see this world in such a different way. I have walked through Parker Square and looked in windows and walked around the block where we lived in Flower Mound, and never really noticed what I was looking at.

It is easier to notice when you are a foreigner. Here, everyone stares at us and some smile expectantly and some shrink back timidly and some beg you with their eyes.

We watched a soccer game and bought a bag of cheese puffs for cinquenta centavos (like $0.07 US) and tried not to get lost.

I can't help but wonder if we will always get those looks. Maybe someday these people with know us and love us and share their lives with us. I hope so.

But at the same time, I don't think I ever want to stop noticing.

Seriously...go to www.skype.com and download skype! We can talk or video phone for free! Then send us your skype name.

What is REALLY going on.

I have blogged some now about our trip and the events that we have encountered. I wanted to write a bit about what is going on in my heart.

I am more conflicted now than I have ever been. I get these glimpses of the beauty and need of this country and I desire to stay and work and love and give. And then there are the times that I just feel alone, and out of place, and sort of like a baby sister that gets taken around because the parents say it must be so.

My pride is swollen and injured here where I can't do really anything for myself and am at the mercy of everyone else. I know exactly what the problem is. I am self centered and self indulgent and prideful. I don't want to need others. Boy, am I the picture of the holy missionary or what?

Now to the good news.

I know that the Lord brought our little family here for His purpose. I expected this to be difficult, but I have been surprised in that I wasn't expecting it to be difficult in the areas that it has been.

Spiritually I find myself struggling to stay dependent. Is that happening in your life in the states? (I almost said your life at home, but that isn't home anymore...this is)

We are here for the long hall, and I am excited about that as well as aprehensive, and I know that I have barely scratched the surface. Praise God for the Coreanos that they are here to be our friends and our helpers and His provision for us. Their difficulty has made it possible for us to avoid them. Please pray God's blessings on them as they have served us here in the past 6 months by paving the way.